Hi Friends,
Let me first describe my physical surrounding - a great glass of Cabernet sauvigon, CNN on TV, my favorite Pandora station (a perfect mix of Jack Johnson, John Mayer, Coldplay, etc.), a pair of well worn men's shorts (green with lemons and pears on them...so cute...thanks Michael!) and an American Apparel Google Tshirt. Honestly = my physical version of heaven.
disclaimer: you can end reading now. I won't be offended. From here, I simply go on and on and on....:)
A quick explanation to my newly created blog:
Like many my age, depression is rather common disease - either in our past or something still being dealt with. I am blessed and thankful that I can say mine is in the past...like, donzo. But regardless of how strong minded I've become since the dark months, I can't help my thoughts from coming back to how blessed I am to be alive, happy, and strong. 2007 proved to be a year of complete internal UNequilirbium...nothing seemed to balance in my life. I was constantly in panic mode. Certainly not a way to live. 2008 was somewhat better, but I still never took good care of my mind or body. 2009 and 2010 are going to be different. Why? I'm going to be selfish. Plain and simple. Get used to it. I want to put my health, mind, sanity before all other things. I'm 22 with no kids, no significant other, and no heavily demanding profession. I am only dependent upon myself (to be honest, this if the first time I can sincerely say I am 100%...ok, maybe 98%, happy with this scenario).
I began a pretty severe life style changes as of late - I eat well, work out hard, sleep regular hours, attend some sort of religious service weekly, found my form of meditation through yoga and prayer, and often drink and laugh with some pretty sweet friends. My life is great.
Then why am I spending this time writing in a blog? Two reasons: 1.) to have a record for myself to watch my own personal growth, and 2.) Maybe people will take interest (?). I really don't care much about #2...but it may help people understand a little deeper into these recent changes.
I'm not a fantastic writer. I don't plan on writing about my beliefs on social or political happenings...let's save that for a good conversation. I guess I decided to start typing out my thoughts because I am a little envious at people like Tayor Swift. I mean, the girl can so explicitly vent about shitty boyfriends and heartbreak to the whole world through songs while normal people are left with our own internal war.
I am constantly working towards a level of equilibrium in my life, hence the title of this blog. This will be the topic and main theme of my writing...given the posts actually continue. Many nights out with friends and booze is, of course, fun, but exhausting. Too many nights in sweats and in bed is healthy but...boring. I have consistently found that life is never perfect and rarely perfectly in balance. But, I have found that I am comfortable with a certain level of uncontrollable imbalance. Finding a balance between work, fun, running, sleep, boys, booze, spending money, saving money...it goes on and on...this is my quest. This is why I began writing this blog.
[hopefully] more to come,
K
